Zombies are everywhere! More humans are turning into full meals every day. People are being eaten by the thousands, as the undead population continues to rise ever faster. In my last correspondence, I described how to build some defenses in your pool room to guard against an oncoming avalanche of undead. However, you are aware that you cannot stay in your pool room (or other safe house) forever. Even if you continue to use your pool room as a holdup, you’ll eventually have to leave for food, weapons, supplies, and even allies. When you venture out, you’ll need protection from the obvious. If you leave your pool room, grab your pool cue.

Cues are excellent tactical weapons against the undead, especially in close combat, as a pool cue is extremely light and versatile. They come in various lengths and weights, but all are light enough for even the smallest person to swing with deadly speed and accuracy. A two-piece pool cue is preferred over a one-piece for a couple of reasons. First, you can always keep your two-piece cue bolted on as a one-piece cue if you wish, but if you need two sticks, that option is also available. Once you break a one-piece cue in half (two sticks are preferred if you’re fighting multiple zombies, creating leverage to lift things, etc.) you can’t put it back together if you need the extra reach.

Most two-piece pool cues, whether wood or graphite, contain a metal screw where the two pieces of the cue meet, which can be used as a wedge or lever device. Although the two-piece pool cue does not compare to the crowbar, which is the most preferred and accessible weapon against zombie meat), the pool cue’s metal attachment can be used to open small doors and windows. Just be careful! Damaging the accessory may make it impossible to reconnect the two pieces. Also, the metal accessory is stronger and will resist more damage than the tip of the pool cue, which should already be sharp before leaving the pool room or safe house. And the tip of your taco should only be used on undead meat. Breaking windows, forcing open doors, and the like will only dull the tip of the pool cue, or worse, break it entirely, limiting the use of your primary or only weapon.

Find a pool cue quickly if you need help staying alive and learn how to use it. Graphite pool cues are more durable than wooden ones, although the wooden cue with a sharp point is better for zombie brain stabs. And again, if you can find a long lever, and as long as you’re strong enough to swing it and not get tired, use it. You should still acquire a pool cue ASAP, perhaps as a secondary weapon. Even if you don’t own a pool hall, there are plenty of other places to find a cue. Pool halls, bars, and sporting goods stores are good places to start. If places like that are taken advantage of, try the more obscure places like Lions Clubs, VFW Halls, and church recreation rooms. And watch your back when you go outdoors. When you leave the security of your own pool room, house, attic, or any other safe house, you become more vulnerable to zombie attacks. Take your pool cue with you. Otherwise, make sure you find something else to wear that is equally enough to ward off the undead, otherwise you’ll become one of them. As long as I have breath, I will do what I can to provide vital life-saving information to our dwindling number of protection against the walking dead. More correspondence to follow…