Children who challenge authority want to be empowered and in power themselves. Growing up and going to public school in a big city in a big neighborhood, I learned that kids can be very mean and mean to each other. Research has shown that children who do not know how to handle conflict with their peers or adults sometimes resort to violent actions that can result in massive harm to others (ie, through school shootings). These children choose extreme behaviors to exercise their need to be independent and capable in the eyes of their peers.

Some external warning signs that teachers should be aware of include the student’s refusal to cooperate in the classroom, avoidance of participation in school activities, and constant attempts to defy authority. These are all signs of a person who feels defeated, has low self-esteem, and feels dependent. However, research shows that the child’s actions are protective mechanisms. Professional teachers must try to understand why the child exhibits these types of behaviors. A wise teacher challenges these behaviors and guides the student to a safe and trusting environment.

I was one of these students. I didn’t want to be the center of attention or be aggressive, but I wanted to fit in and feel accepted by my peers. Fortunately, I had mentors in my life. I remember the pastor of my mother’s church stopping me and saying very encouraging words that have stuck with me: “You are going to be that special person in life.” His kind words kept a lot of anger from showing up in my growing up years, because he showed me acceptance in a big, chaotic world. All children need is a word of encouragement that they are somebody and that as a society we care about them.

Not having mentors and good teachers in my life while growing up in a negative environment would have scarred my psyche.

But teachers should not respond emotionally or be distracted by a student’s ethnicity or size. Reacting to a preconceived idea of ​​their personality does not provide a cure for these students. Instead, be trustworthy and make a connection with them. Never try to shape their behavior, but rather challenge that behavior. Someone once said that what you see on the outside is not the true expression on the inside. Ignore the outward expression and deal with the person crying for help.

You may be wondering: What does this have to do with the workplace? Well, it’s relevant because there is almost always conflict in the workplace. It begins when certain behaviors are not responded to immediately. If our problem behaviors from childhood are not challenged, they will be challenged in our adult lives, either by society or by peers in the workplace. This behavior manifests itself in intimidation, anger, revenge, and yelling.

We have all worked with or heard of adult “babies” in the workplace. Those whose power and attention seeking make the work environment psychologically negative and toxic. This makes work a hellish place that people hate to come to, all because the negative person’s behavior as a child was never addressed.

If you’re a supervisor or team leader, have a plan of action for dealing with those who have never gotten over their lack of respect for authority. Society is often not forgiving and will not tolerate disrespectful or toxic behavior in the workplace.

Here are my suggestions, based on my experience:

1. Role Modeling – As a supervisor or team leader, you need to model the behavior that you want your employees or team members to emulate. In the military, we are taught to lead by example. If you want professionalism, loyalty, and good ethical behavior, be that example. I can’t say this enough. People imitate their environment and their leaders. Therefore, decrease the negative and adopt a positive behavior. Don’t let favoritism poison your work environment. Have you ever heard of a “teacher’s pet”? Well, there are also servants of the boss. This behavior decreases creativity in the employee and decreases the chances that the organization will see its return on investment in them.
2. Focus on the problem: When you see undesirable behavior in an individual or group, focus on the problem. Don’t leave it unattended. In my years of leadership, I have always focused on the problem child who brings that behavior to the workplace. Remember, others are watching how you deal with this unacceptable behavior. So focus on him like a laser beam and take him out!
3. Advise the Problem – Once you isolate the problem, isolate the perpetrator and advise him. Don’t do it in a negative way. Explain to the individual how her behavior is affecting the organization, the team, or the work environment. Remember, you want a harmonious, efficient and professional workplace.
4. Reinforce Policies and Regulations – Bring your organization or team members together and explain your organization’s policies, regulations and procedures and how to deal with unwanted behavior in the workplace. By doing this, you are setting boundaries and providing a stable environment that drives productivity and profitability.
5. Record your counseling session: Finally, record your counseling session with the individual employee or team members, and outline a plan for administering appropriate punishment if further offenses occur. Remember to never hesitate to carry out your disciplinary plan when a violation occurs.

Dealing with disruptive behavior in the workplace is a task that should never be taken lightly. It should be addressed immediately when recognized by all leaders (ie, teachers, supervisors, team leaders, or managers). Remember, once toxic behaviors get out of hand, other employees or team members will follow.

Derrick Darden, Ph.D., has been an adjunct faculty member teaching human resources and management course at Park University and Tiffin University for more than eight years. Prior to this, he served in the US Army for 22 years in the logistics management field. Currently, he working for the Dept. Army Procurement Contracting Command