We listen and then we listen and many times we don’t listen at all. What? Well that’s just the point. There are various levels of listening and each one is more sophisticated than the other. We use the different levels in different social situations and some of us are more skilled than others. However, listening is so important to communication that it behooves us all to work on improving our skills. When we have poor listening skills, we jump to conclusions, misunderstand and misunderstand what is being said. It takes a lot of work to clean up the mess we make when we don’t listen well.

There are actually five levels of listening.

1. Level one is listening for our turn to speak. This can be very irritating to the speaker because he knows that the listener is not paying attention to anything other than when he has a chance to speak. This means that the conversation follows the listener’s agenda, not the speaker’s agenda. An example might be when you are talking about a business matter and when you finish your thought, the listener speaks up and asks how you enjoyed the party last weekend.
2. Level two is when the listener is not really participating in the conversation, but when it is their turn, they give an example from their own experience. For example, he might be saying that his son really enjoyed soccer camp this summer and the listener responds by saying that his son went last year and didn’t like it very much.
3. Level three listening occurs when the listener gives advice without knowing if the speaker wants to hear it. An example of this would be that you are saying that you are having a difficult time with your teenager and the listener begins to tell you how to handle the situation.
4. Level four listening occurs when the listener asks for more information. Now we’re getting into real listening. In this case, she might be saying that she has had some difficulty getting her manager to accept her ideas about something and the listener asks her to tell him more about it.
5. Level five listening is where the listener employs their intuition and reads between the lines to hear the real problem beneath the words. Here you could be saying that you better not go out for drinks after work and the listener asks if you are worried about your kids being home alone. He hit the nail on the head and you admit that you really are worried about it and would rather go home.

In normal conversation, we often listen at levels 1 to 3. When we become more adept at listening and really make a difference is when we can listen at levels 4 – 5.

listening levels is copyrighted by Gary Copeland. All rights reserved. Used with permission.