“To gain knowledge, one must study; but to gain wisdom, one must observe.”
Marilyn Vos Savant

Your face is probably the first physical feature that people notice about you. There are “eye people”, “nose people” and “mouth people”. These purists not only notice your face, but are either attracted or deterred by one of your facial features. Personally, I am attracted to the eyes of a person. The Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory (MBPI) says that INTJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging personality type) do not show the depth of their emotions, except in their eyes. This may be an example that the eyes are the window to the soul. INTJs are 1% of the population. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), my life is literate with them. Consequently, I have become very familiar with his profile and his emotions. I have yet to see a discernible depth of emotion in his eyes. Wait, we’ll talk more about INTJs later. However, we try to read the faces of the people with whom we have contact. When you meet someone, what is the first thing you notice? Perhaps, your gender makes a difference.

Although the face is usually the first part of the body that we look at, the whole body “speaks.” Body language is a substantial part of our communication; some experts say between 65 and 80 percent. If your body communicates an emotion and your words articulate something else, you’re more likely to trust your body language. For example, if one says “I love you,” we should be able to discern some genuine emotion or the words sound sacred and unconvincing. It is conceivable that they spoke out of habit or friendliness.

Behavioral studies indicate that individuals perceive an appropriate distance for different types of messages; they establish a comfortable distance for personal interaction and define it nonverbally as their personal space. Personal distance is as much a part of non-verbal communication as a smile or a groan. If you are distrustful (ie paranoid), your space will probably be wider. If you perceive danger (or disgust), even if you are not aware of your perception, it will probably increase the distance between you and the other person.

Would you like to know how well you read body language? Choose your favorite answer to the following questions.

body language test

1. According to research studies, what is the greatest distance you are likely to find between two whispering lovers? (Use your tape measure the next time you see two lovers.)

A) 2 feet

B) 28 inches

C) 4 inches

D) 18 inches

2. This body language tool, when used, will make you appear warm, friendly, open, and confident.

A) Arms outstretched

B) Feet about 10 inches apart

C) nod your head

D) smile

3. Making little eye contact could mean

a) is shy

B) He is an INTJ and doesn’t want anyone to read emotion in his eyes

c) is sleepy

D) You don’t like the person.

4. If someone wrings their hands while you are talking, what could that mean?

a) is nervous

B) His hands are dirty.

c) is late for something

D) She is open and outgoing.

5. When you lean toward the person you’re talking to and nod your head from time to time, it probably means

a) is myopic

B) is self-centered

C) He is paying close attention.

D) You have trouble hearing the other person.

6. If one has crossed arms and crossed legs it can mean

a) she is cold

B) She feels romantic.

C) You want to get to know the person you are talking to

D) She is defensive.

7. Standing with your chest out and your head held high could mean

A) Trust

B) Aggression

C) Low self-esteem

D) An ill-fitting bra

8. An angle towards a person if

A) He is being aggressive.

B) He thinks she is cute.

C) You are trying to read the emotion in an INTJ’s eyes.

D) He thinks she is lying and wants to see if she is blinking.

9. If one filters their words through their hands, it could mean

A) She is trying to hide bad breath.

b) she lies

c) she is dramatic

D) She is in love

10. We have such powerful brain “circuitry” for facial expressions that

A) We see faces where there are none (i.e. moon, clouds)

B) We often misread expressions.

C) We get tired of reading expressions

D) We smile and glare just to confuse people.

Correct answers:
1) d, 2) d, 3) a, 4) a, 5) c, 6) d, 7) a, 8) a, 9) a, 10) a

Punctuation:
Give yourself one point for each correct answer, or as many points as you like, but it will mess up the scoring.

What does my score mean?

Scores 1 – 4
I’m afraid you would never survive in the wild. Surely something big and toothy and hostile would devour you, because you’d think the growl meant it was in love. You may want to learn more about body language by visiting The Non-Verbal Communication Journal website. If that site is too academic for your liking, try the Center for Nonverbal Communication website, it’s quite interesting. To be safe, stay close to someone who scored a ten on the test.

Scores 5 – 8
You are doing relatively well and can probably communicate and understand communication with little effort. You may want to visit the sites mentioned above and increase your body language awareness. What does it mean when someone looks up and to the right? Look, I told you there was more to learn.

Scores 9 – 10
You should be working for the FBI. You have an unusual knowledge of body language. This knowledge will give you a distinct advantage in understanding your fellow man. Let me warn you, some of the nice people in the first score bracket will be looking for you.

Grand finale

First, I must apologize to the INTJs in my life for attacking them. They are exceptionally intelligent and talented people. They will complete projects (perfectly) and on time, every time. They are not materialistic; they are theoretical individuals. You’ll find them at parties sitting in a corner reading Einstein’s Theory of Relativity… and smiling.

Who is lying?

Would you like to know how to know if someone is lying? According to body language expert Robert Phipps, “bulging eyes, unseen palms, shifting from one foot to the other, hand covering mouth, or fingers tugging at ear are clues.” Sorry, this system is not foolproof.

What do you do if your partner comes home late, smelling of expensive French perfume, and says that he has been visiting his dear mother? Just to make it more interesting, what if he also pulls his ear, covers his mouth, and shoots at his eyes? Would you call mom? Naturally, just to see how the old darling was doing.

the fbi

What does it mean when someone looks up and to the left? I’m sorry, the FBI won’t let me release that information. If it ever gets declassified, I’ll let you know. Keep in contact…