Have you ever gotten stuck? Have you ever been in a rut that you couldn’t get out of easily? Did he ever feel like the harder he tried, the more he turned his wheels and the deeper he buried himself? A friend of mine once literally found herself in this situation. While she was backing up my steep driveway in the middle of a snowstorm (ironically, on the first official day of spring), her car slipped and got stuck in my yard. From her story, I hope she finds strategies to apply as she moves through difficult situations in her own life.

ASSESS THE SITUATION

His car was in a difficult situation. There was a small rock to the right of the car, a boxwood bush to its left, and our mailbox was two feet behind it. To make matters worse, his front tires were so deep in the snow that the front of his car was level with the driveway and the ground. The only way out seemed to be to reverse course: up the slope to get back to the driveway.

ASK FOR HELP

Fifteen or twenty minutes must have passed between the moment I said goodbye to my friend and the moment I realized I was trapped. It was bedtime for my previous son, so it wasn’t until after I’d read to them and tucked them in that I looked out the window and saw headlights in my yard. My friend had been alone the entire time, trying to move forward, but he had only gotten stuck deeper into the snow and dirt. Realizing his situation, I immediately put on my coat and boots and went out to help.

SEE WHAT YOU HAVE FOR YOU

We had a few tools at our disposal: shovels, some sand, a blanket for traction, and people I could get together to push if necessary. Since we both had some experience with cars in the snow, we decided to go with what we knew best first.

CLEAR THE WAY

The snow was packed between his front tires and the edge of the car, so we first dug up to free his wheels. We also remove snow in front of and behind your tires.

USE AN INCREMENTAL APPROACH

Our initial attempt was to spread sand in front of the tires, hoping that would give her tires something to grab onto, so she could slowly make her way back to the driveway.

BE WILLING TO ABANDON PLANS

When shoveling and sanding didn’t make a difference, we knew we had to go the other way. My husband had just finished a business call, so I asked for his help and suggestions.

EXPLORE DIFFERENT OPTIONS

Rather than fight an uphill battle, my husband recommended removing the mailbox and backing through the yard to the street. My friend and I had assumed that the mailbox was a fixed obstacle. Not so! Since he had never been cemented, he got up easily.

CREATE MOVEMENT

Even though the ultimate plan was to back up, moving slightly back and forth to create a rocking motion was what ultimately got the car moving. It’s counterintuitive to move in a different direction than you want to go, but often ANY type of movement is enough to get things going.

GIVE A GOOD PUSH FOR IT TO CONTINUE

Once the car started moving, a few hard shoves helped it keep going.

All went well. My friend arrived home safe and sound. My garden escaped remarkably unscathed: the only plants affected were the annual chrysanthemums I pull out every spring anyway. As she is not the only friend who has faced our entrance, we now offer valet parking.

I hope one or more of these approaches will come in handy the next time you feel stuck in the mud, in the snow, or in life.