In the winter of 2017, a debilitating illness, anorexia nervosa, shattered my daughter’s life. The battle against this disease is intense and requires all the mental, emotional, physical, and social resources a family can muster. Although my daughter’s disease had probably been in her mind and body for several months prior to her diagnosis, once the disease took hold of her body, it was relentless in its quest to literally take her life. .

First of all, each child/person/patient is different and you must be attentive to your child’s personal needs. On the other hand, this disease is remarkably similar in all patients and that is because it IS a disease with a specific disease pattern and etiology. Therefore, the first step is to recognize that it is a real disease, as serious as cancer. Seek professional help from a doctor who specializes in eating disorders as soon as possible. Early intervention can be the difference between a one-year recovery or a two- or three-year recovery period.

Second, keep in mind that this disease developed over a longer period of time than you think, so recovery will take just as long. You and your family are in for the long haul; This process will most likely consume the entire collective time and energy of your immediate family for at least several months to a year or two or more. Your main job during the first few months is simply to help your child feed again. You may not have the time or energy to do anything else. Just like feeding a newborn, this can be a 24-hour job.

Third, recognize that the battle against this disease is intense and requires all the mental, emotional, physical and social resources of the family. The best defense is to enlist the help of a doctor, a counselor, and a nutritionist. Your child may also need a child psychiatrist, as there are some medications that are helpful in treating co-occurring disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety. At one point in my daughter’s recovery, we were taking her to four different appointments a week just to keep up with the intense needs of fighting this disease.

Fourth, if one intervention doesn’t work after a few months, try another. In my daughter’s recovery process, which lasted a year, she first went to a partial hospitalization program (for 3 months). After 6 weeks at home, she relapsed and went to an inpatient program (for 1 month). Rather than return to a partial hospitalization program (which is the recommended inpatient reduction), we chose to implement an intensive, modified Maudsley approach at home. I took partial family medical leave for about 9 months during this time. When we used the Maudsley approach at home, my husband or I ate every meal with her.

Fifth, if there are two parents or caregivers in the family, always present a united front. Your day-to-day tactics with your daughter or son need to be unified. The anorexic mind will look for any opportunity it can to find any ambiguity in its system. Together, both of you should be diligent in encouraging your child to eat and rest. Be supportive of your child and others.

Sixth, be willing to let go of old family habits, even good ones. Our family took pride in our daily family dinners around the kitchen table, where we shared our day. With our daughter’s anorexic mind, that habit became impossible. As long as she was terrified of eating, we had to find ways to distract her from it. Comedy TV shows worked. At one point in our lives, we scoffed at the idea of ​​family dinners in front of the TV, and now each meal required us to watch about three episodes of comedy TV shows, including Seinfeld and The Office. However, that new habit helped our daughter smile and she finally relaxed enough to eat.

Finally, if you find a food or food group that you will eat; that they eat it as much as they want, even if it does not include a balanced meal. At one point, our daughter lived on peanut butter and bananas. In our house, we probably used up several jars a week, but clearly her body and her brain needed that kind of nutrition and she was willing to eat it.

Get support from family, friends, church, or another spiritual group. I will share more tips and information in my next article.