I recently picked up a book while endlessly waiting for a flight to take off. In the book I came across a very important statement, rather a profound truth articulated by Dr. Karl Menninger (a psychiatrist). He said: “Attitudes are more important than facts.”

It basically means that whatever event we face, however difficult or seemingly hopeless, is not nearly as important as our attitude toward that event.

The author of that book said that this statement is worth repeating until the truth catches up with you. I could not agree more. I instantly remembered Winston Churchill’s last speech. Winston Churchill was emphatically introduced. He slowly walked to the podium, looked at the assembly, and said, “Never give up; never, never, never give up.”

For the record: He was in his 90s, in very poor health, and was talking to his former high school students. His attitude, however, was never in the 90s and never in ill health.

How many times have you told yourself, “That’s not fair,” and the feeling of being a victim of circumstance made you want to give up? Not very often, I hope. However, the question arises that never give up on exactly what? Intuitively I know what it means to never stop trying, but after personal reflection (and a lot) I understand that it is about never losing hope.

I heard from a researcher of cancer patients who have had survival experiences. Everyone agrees that once hope is removed, it is all too easy to give up, at which point dying becomes the most likely outcome. There are cases of patients in almost similar physical conditions; where some braved the odds and survived when the situation seemed hopeless; while his companions simply gave up and promptly passed away.

it is very easy to focus on the negative aspects of the past or the present, it is very comfortable to imagine that nothing will change. I say comfortable because it allows us to shrink and shrink (mostly in our own mind) in a way where the responsibility for change has been shifted off of us. Out of our control. It is someone else’s fault or someone else’s responsibility. And obviously there’s a reality formed – that you can’t do anything about it.

My friend, attitude is more important than facts. The fact may well be that you are in dire straits. However, if you have lost hope, then definitely the fact will forever be a reality.

The main problem really is that we allow hopelessness to enter our minds and discolor and distort our perspective. We do this because we are consumed by the facts.

So what does a positive attitude mean? Bottom line: “Have faith in your abilities.” It sounds very simple. And you can do it very easily. Let me share with you a real life narrative from one of my training sessions.

This particular training assignment was with a vice president of a retail company. The session is inspired by a technique I learned a long time ago in a book (I’m struggling with the name right now, but it’s a must read and I’ll post it in my next post). He has been in this role for years and years. He is unhappy about it for obvious reasons. He hasn’t had a promotion in a long time. He is seeing other divisions of the company grow, his colleagues are promoted, salaries increase for everyone…

In my first session with him he tells me, “Why are you training me? I am 54 years old. I have nothing to accomplish. I have been here in this position for the last 12 years and will be here until retirement. I have nothing to pursue.” “. I will do my job well. I’m too old to start over or find a more exciting job. My standard of living and that of my family will remain where it is. I have accepted that this is it.”

I asked him: “Nothing to wait for.” “Nothing” she repeated.

I asked him if we could write down the things he likes or enjoys. “It’s no use. Nothing’s going to change,” she said.

I told him let’s see anyway and started writing for him. I asked him if his wife loved him. He said, “Of course I have. We’ve been married thirty years.” I asked him about his children, he said he has three daughters and they call him every day before he leaves for work and tell him they love him and are very proud of him. He tells me emphatically, “not a day left.”

Did I say friends? He said that he doesn’t have many friends, but there are a couple of them from his college days who are always with him. In good and bad. “They keep exploring opportunities for me. I tell them the same thing. It doesn’t make sense.”

I asked him what his most precious value in life was. He said “honesty, I have never hurt anyone or lied to anyone”. I asked him how his health was. He said: “A few problems here and there, but I’m in pretty good health. I can walk a few miles more than my local youth.”

I asked him if he believes in India’s growth story. He said: “Of course I do. This is the place to be.” Finally I asked him if he was religious and he replied: ‘I believe in God. I’m grateful for what I have.”

I turned over the small sheet of paper that I had been writing on. He said:

1- A wife who loves me- 30 years

2- Three daughters who are proud of me.

3- Two friends who explore opportunities for me almost every day.

4-Honesty-

5- Good health.

6- India is growing and I am here.

7- I believe in God.

I said, ‘I thought you said there was nothing to look forward to.’

He told me, “I never looked at it that way.” The ONLY thing that changed for him was going from thinking about his negative situation at work to having faith that he has things going for him. He can, if he wishes, thing to hug them.

He took that list from me. It still hangs on his pin-up board. Three years have passed. He tells me that he reads it every day and draws a lot of energy from it. This gentleman who is a wonderful human being is today the President, he enjoys a higher salary, he is responsible for another division and I suppose that in general he is much happier.

We can all think of focusing forever on problems, negative situations or something we don’t have and reinforcing it all our lives. We can also focus on what we have. at least we can have faith in our own abilities.

I will repeat again Attitude is more important than facts. It is also the perfect reason why you should focus on a positive future, take actions that give you hope and belief that things are going to be okay, and never, ever, ever give up (on hope).

yours,

Chetan Wallia