Life is a cycle of seasons, and transitions between seasons can be worrying. There can often be minor lifestyle interruptions, which are soon resolved. But when they persist, there is a crisis. Midlife is one of those periods that has been recognized as a period of potential crisis.
Midlife falls between the late 30s and late 40s. It is different from the premenopausal years that occur later. Until the 1900s, only about 10% of women reached middle age. Her roles were well defined within the limited sphere of home and family, as wife, mother, domestic slave. The midlife crisis was unheard of.

However, the 20th century has seen an incredible lengthening of lifespan, with women living well into their seventh or eighth decade. So, around the age of 40 or so, when the business of having children is over and the children begin to assert their independence, a stretch of life looms before women that seems like a void. Husbands may also be going through their own midlife crisis and are like irritable hedgehogs. Or in a role reversal, they become too dependent on their wives. Women begin to feel trapped.

A woman can feel that life is passing her by. “Who I am?” she wonders. “Does my life count for anything?” An inexplicable loneliness invades her as if she did not have a true identity of her own. Aware that her beauty and energy are gradually fading, she sinks into depression. This feeling of worthlessness is aggravated if there is marital dissatisfaction. The 20th century saw revolutionary changes in all aspects of life. Education, employment outside the home, the collapse of the joint family system, migration to the impersonal atmosphere of cities, changing sex roles, women’s liberation movements, youth culture, and rapid advances in science and technology , have created a kind of insecurity in the traditional woman. As she tries to keep up with the changing times, stress becomes the part of her.

It is in this context that Midlife Crisis acquires importance. Whether they are single, married, or widowed, nearly two-thirds of women go through this phase. A career-oriented spinster of hers at the top of the administrative hierarchy suddenly decided that she can no longer live alone. She conjures up images of being incarcerated in some Nursing Home, and the prospect of her alarms him. She therefore frantically searches the newspapers for a suitable spouse and may unwisely select an undesirable mate or enter into a cohabiting relationship. A sober middle-aged widow may decide to give herself a new image. She can visit a beautician to have her hair styled, eyebrows plucked, and wrinkles fixed with Botox. She even she can start wearing a lot of makeup and dressing like a teenager. She may flirt outrageously with eligible men or have an affair with someone younger than her son. People take notice, gossip and laugh, but the woman throws the property to the wind and is brazen with her behavior.

A spinster with unfulfilled maternal wishes may decide to have a baby out of wedlock or offer to ‘rent her womb’. Some psychologists say that the midlife crisis is just a convenient excuse for irresponsible behavior. But it can be argued that if this were the case, why wait until middle age to indulge? The Middle Ages are merely a passing phase, and not something to be feared, but rather welcomed. The crisis usually occurs when there is a lack of preparation. EM Blaicklock says that “the Middle Ages is the time when the fruits of life begin to ripen.”

You must be prepared for. It is a time to take stock of oneself and examine one’s lifestyle. One needs to identify the factors that can contribute to a crisis and address them individually. Is there a fear of losing youth, sexual attractiveness and beauty? Does a few gray hairs, or sagging breasts or weight gain create panic? A psychiatrist says: “Feeling good and looking good are related to the balance between the mind and the body.” And Longfellow assures us that “age is no less opportunity than youth itself, although in another dress.”
Exercise, a balanced diet, relaxation and a general interest in the world around us will restore the shine to middle-aged faces.

Has the marriage relationship become boring? So one needs to put more effort into changing it. A little more love, communication, and care can go a long way in putting things right. The husband may also be going through a mid-life crisis and may be uninterested or unable to respond to her feelings. Therefore, a woman should verbalize her needs directly and specifically, making her understand that she is going through a difficult time and she wants her understanding and love. A good husband will not only support his wife emotionally, but will also give her the space he needs to develop her sense of self-worth. If a woman is suddenly widowed in middle age, her depression may increase. Or she might rush into an adventure that is not sensible while she is under stress.

For a woman who has spent the best years of her life being an exemplary mother, who has found identity and fulfillment in her children, the realization that they no longer need her and that there is a great generational gap between them, makes her feeling marginalized and useless. Middle age is also a time when one becomes vulnerable health-wise. Diseases such as obesity, hypertension, diabetes, the need for dietary restriction, medication, exercise, make her aware of her mortality. She begins to meditate on her situation and gets stuck in self-pity. The decrease in monetary resources and the restrictions caused by retirement also represent a threat to her peace of mind.
All of these stressors have a snowball effect, which can undermine a woman’s self-confidence and lead to disturbed behaviors such as depression, irritability, irrational behavior, assertiveness, or abnormal sexual interest. In fact, this phase is like going through a ‘second emotional adolescence’.

Anticipating and preparing for midlife can make the transition smoother. Life does not end at that stage. Floyd and Thatcher say: “The Middle Ages are a time for discovery, not stagnation. It is a time ripe for new beginnings, a threshold to a rich and exciting future. If approached with good humor and flexibility, and an openness to change, half years and more can be the best half of life”. Life has many different seasons. In each season a woman needs to reevaluate her values ​​from different perspectives. Whether single, married, or widowed, she needs to flourish in her own identity, and not be a rubber stamp for her husband or a doormat for her children; neither she nor she should allow herself to be exploited, not even by her own family. She must also make decisions and assert herself when necessary.

Hobbies and new interests make life interesting. “Unleash your creativity,” urges Ann Morrow Lindbergh. Music, reading, travel, painting are mood lifters.

Good friends are active in difficult times. They act as confidants or as sounding boards when one needs to vent. They provide support in times of stress and depression. Groups like “Emotions Anonymous” help their members open up and talk about their problems. They learn from each other’s experiences and help each other to redefine their ideas and values. They become happy and confident. Artificial props like drugs and alcohol are not the answer, nor is an extramarital affair a solution. It may just lead to feelings of guilt that are hard to shake.

Husbands and children need to realize that their caring love can work magic to get them through a midlife crisis. But unless a woman verbalizes her needs and fears, they can’t know.
Finding time for introspection, refusing to condemn oneself for imagined shortcomings, and becoming aware of the temporary nature of such a crisis, is half the way to overcoming it. People tend to put God last when faced with a crisis. Paul’s words in Philippians 3:13 are encouraging. “I’m still not all that I should be, but I am putting all my energy to confirm one thing: forget the past and look towards what is to come.” Prayer overcomes many crises.

Middle age is the season before the autumn of life. Autumn will surely follow, illuminating the personality with the golden tones of maturity and peace. Life will start anew with a new vision of what remains of the future.