Sometimes relationships just aren’t going to work out, in fact, statistically, the first or even the second relationship is prone to dissolving. Most people enter into relationships between their early and late teen years, and therefore, as they get older, they grow up and become different people. They’re in a position to learn how to be a couple and who they really are, so there’s a higher chance that first relationships will break up than, say, second or third relationships.

Just because this is your first relationship doesn’t automatically mean you’re doomed to break up. Conversely, many people marry their high school sweetheart and live happily ever after. However, when you’re young and in your first or second relationship, things can get out of hand quickly. The relationship can end over trivial complaints thrown on the spur of the moment. Some people break up because of the things their friends say about their partner. I knew a couple who got divorced because the wife was embarrassed that her husband was a welder on an assembly line.
(Oops, I dated myself, that was back when America was actually producing products.)

No matter what the reason for the breakup is, you have a good chance of getting back together, even if you are the only one working towards reconciliation, it’s not simple, but it can be easy. There are people who study such human behavior and have discovered some “tricks” that you can use to get your ex back.

Think about how your relationship ended, what was the problem that caused the breakup? Find out, if this problem continues, even if they get back together, they will probably break up again if they can’t grow from this time apart. If you get together and then break up again over the same problem, it will be more difficult to reconcile, so see what the problem is. See if you can change the way you acted or responded to the problem that came up so that you can deal with it.

Now look at yourself, unfortunately as humans we tend to get a bit carried away after we’ve “got” our partner and that can have a detrimental effect. Have you gained 45 pounds and gotten used to drinking beer and watching TV every night instead of doing the kind of things you did when you were trying to win the affections of your peers? Do you need to get your act together?

I bet if you stay single long enough, you’ll be inclined to do those things with your appearance that are necessary to attract a mate. Make sure you do that for your ex first and fast. The more time that passes beyond three months, the more difficult it will be for you to get your ex back. The reason I say this is that during the first two or three months there is a very high percentage of people who start to look back at what they left behind and want to go home again, or if they want to get back that love they had . Left behind.

Funny, who wants to be in the meat markets when they had someone who loved them and maybe they could get back together? Make sure your ex sees that you’ve really started taking care of yourself again so that when she gets a nostalgic feeling she thinks about how good you looked the last time she saw you.

Now help your ex remember how great you are by having mutual friends mention it within earshot of your ex. Your plans for the summer, how good you look or how you just got that promotion. See if you can get mutual friends on your side to keep you in the conversation loop they have around their ex. Just like a big corporation, keep putting your brand in front of your ex smartly and not blatantly and definitely without storing, texting or calling them.

When your ex hears that you are moving on in life and getting by without him/her, he/she will naturally focus his/her thoughts on you. They are saying to themselves “What am I missing?” They might regret not sharing those things with you, particularly in light of what’s going on in their lives. You have it all over any new person because you know your ex and he/she remembers you. They remember the good times.

All the bad things, the bad moments, the mind wants to forget and that is natural in the human being. We remember the good things, you just need to arrange it so your ex gets a memory boost occasionally.

You can be “proactive” at this point by being in places where you know your ex is likely to be. Go ahead, grab a coffee at the same old coffee shop, take your friend out to dinner where you know your ex likes to hang out, that sort of thing.

Now I know the last thing you want to do is visit all the places you used to go together, it’s painful, I get it, I’ve been there and if this strategy is too painful for you, don’t do it, there are other ways. If you can handle it, even though there could be parties thrown by mutual friends, sporting events, bowling teams, any activity or social event where your ex will be, you get the idea. Make it casual, even if you don’t drive for hours out of your way and sit outside your workplace, that would be bad. Just be subtle, understated, and casual about “running into” your ex.

Think back to when you met and how things progressed in your relationship, see if you can recreate similar conditions. Be positive and happy when you see your ex and don’t show any signs of despair or neediness. You have to be aloof, casual, and disinterested in your ex, except in the lightest, most casual way. Eventually they will want to meet with you just to “talk.” It may take time and it will be painful and at some point you may decide they are not worth it, in which case you have reached the point where you are ready to move on.