Adaptive people are able to organize their thoughts in ways that lead to appropriate and positive actions. Adaptive skills are necessary as changes occur in individuals and their circumstances.

Adaptive behaviors are age-dependent skills that allow us to successfully participate in activities of daily living throughout our lives. We can also think of adaptive behaviors as skills that allow us to be flexible when a change occurs in our personal or professional lives.

If we are adaptable, we will react to unexpected events or unconstructive actions in creative or constructive ways. An adaptive individual is able to refocus the mind in new directions and make decisions based on desired outcomes. He or she is open to change, knowing that it is the play of the sail that matters, not the direction of the wind.

Consider these five life skills to deal constructively with the changing circumstances of daily life.

1. Stop and think to avoid misunderstandings. Give yourself time to analyze situations thoroughly. View actions and circumstances from different angles and perspectives to gain an accurate understanding of what has happened. If people are involved, raise your concerns and ask questions to get information that might not be obvious. This will allow you to make informed decisions.

2. Think long term. Ask yourself “What if?” Questions. Think about the consequences of dealing with a situation in various ways. Ask, “What am I going to lose?” and “What am I going to win?” “How could this election affect my family, friends, myself and future well-being?”

3. Prepare for change with continuous learning. Change is a constant in everyone’s life. The skills necessary to meet various needs will change throughout all stages of life. We will continue to need up-to-date knowledge in areas such as self-care, relationships, parenting, and finances.

4. Look below the surface. Challenges welcome. Every challenging situation provides an opportunity to become wiser and more skilled. Somewhere, someone has successfully faced the same situation. Even the seemingly most devastating circumstances carry within them the seed of a new blessing. Those who seek these blessings will eventually find them.

5. Be clear about your values: the principles that guide your actions. Then look at your needs: those things that need to be met in a way that stays true to your values. Ask yourself this question: “Is my reaction an attempt to meet a personal need in a healthy way, or is it a creative solution to some other problem?” Then ask, “Is my choice of action in line with my core values?”

Thinking through these skills has helped many of my clients make positive decisions in situations that require adaptive change and problem solving. They can help you too. May each new challenge leave you wiser, more skilled, more adaptable, and more loving, today and in the future as well.