There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grievance, deep contrition, and unspeakable love.

~Washington Irving~

Yesterday we were enjoying the Florida sun and planning a cruise. We feel good about the day and about our lives. We then received a phone call informing us of the sudden death of one of Carol’s cousins ​​in her early forties. It was difficult for anyone to formulate an answer. How do you react to the death of a beloved mother, wife, relative and friend? There are no words for it, just shared grievances and attempts to comfort each other.

Even at seventy-six, I don’t think about my own death very often, though it is much closer now than ever in the past. It doesn’t surprise me when friends and relatives older than me die. After I get over my grievance, I think of the wonderful parts of their lives that I have shared with them. I’m glad I had them as a part of my life for as long as they lived. Memories of my favorite people linger and come back to my consciousness from time to time.

Now a wonderful woman half my age has died suddenly. This has forced me once again to face the mortality associated with each of our lives. I have admired her accomplishments as a parent, friend, and school counselor. She helped me with my teen book and showed great understanding of the challenges children and teens face. She was good friends with many people who are struggling to find a way to accept the loss of her in their lives.

It’s hard to let go of the people we love no matter how old they are. It’s even harder to free the vibrant, productive people we see full of life from our lives. We think about what was left undone in their lives and what they could have accomplished if they lived longer. We take it for granted that those we love will be with us at least for the foreseeable future. However, there is no guarantee. Any of us can die at any time. Most of the time there remains unfulfilled potential that could contribute to the achievement of a person’s life.

We have limited opportunities to accomplish what we can, bring joy to those around us, and contribute what we can to human history and the memories we leave behind. We often ask why someone dies before we are ready to let them go. There is no good answer to this question. But there is a lesson for us. The only thing we can be sure of is what we are doing right now. It is up to each of us to seize the opportunity to live life the best way we can. The memories of how we live our lives are the legacy we leave behind to inspire those who will live after us. Thank you Liz for sharing your life with us.

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