Man, haven’t we all had to deal with some really crazy jobs out there? What? Are they in your living room and you ran away with your only true friend, your computer, looking for a little comfort? I know where you come from, honey. I’ve been there, I’m not going back.

Yet when the holidays roll in, it’s almost impossible not to come face to face with one of your biggest nightmares … or, in some families, a whole flock of them. Oooh, and they can also be very ugly birds.

These are some of my ‘Tried and True’ methods that I use to deal with the situation, and the best method I have come across. It even helped my marriage, since frankly, my spouse is often my biggest irritant, and I can’t seem to get rid of him, as Mariah suggests (I think he’s speaking to me directly in that song – how does he know I’m in the car at that particular moment it’s a mystery to me …).

1. Avoidance. Works for me. I try to stay as far away from the ‘social irritant’ as possible. Another country is great, but if it’s not that, another state, a different city, another side of the kitchen island if it’s too late and they’re already at your house. It is much more difficult to handle this ingenious Evasion technique if you are stuck in his house, in which case, I suggest you stick with Number 2. And do not agree to go and stay in the Lion’s Den, again – a Cheap Motel is! a better choice!

2. Drink. And a lot. Numb the pain, I say. Shays. Shay, did I ever tell you that old joke about the … oh wait? You still need help so I pass you another glass … Now here’s the sad part: I really had to do this with a particular group of in-laws (I’ve had more than one group, if you can believe that! ha! That’s just for my own fun …!), in preparation for them to come. Fortunately, they were very distant, so I rarely had to see them, and it was my mother-in-law who was the most difficult. I’d make the coffee early, bring out the Baileys, and voila! Therapy in motion. And it also helped a lot, since I laughed more and cried less … a good thing. Or at least something a little better.

3. Pretend. Oh, I used to fake all kinds of things, just to keep my own sanity. You don’t remember the baby’s name and you only have three grandchildren? No problem. Anyway, why would a complete stranger know our sweet baby’s name? That doesn’t even make sense … I sob, sob, gulp, gulp … Shure, I’ll have more wine. Just fake your day off. Are you in Hawaii on the Beach? On a date with someone with a much better family? (Heard it’s a popular dream …) Anything you can imagine that creates a bit of emotional distance could work. Don’t forget that drink! (Man, what would a recovering alcoholic do? Maybe he’ll remember the old days a bit and move on to more ‘functional’ methods below …)

4. Read a good book. Porn can be a good option if you’re still trying that ‘avoidance’ thing, as people will take a look and assume the worst … don’t you hate that? Judgmental bastards. (I must assume he chose Tip # 2, and now his own level of judgment is slightly affected …) No, no. The best book I have read that really helped me deal with difficult people was (is) The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. . Thank God I found that book before I went crazy. It’s hard to find a good book in the Loony-Bin … or so I’ve heard …

In case you’re reading this and it’s an emergency situation, and you can order the book, but it won’t be here until Monday, and you don’t know if you can last that long, here’s what I got out of it. book: it’s not about you, it’s about them. Yes. You’ve probably heard that before, but listen to this, it’s true! Everyone has their own vision of their own life, but they also have a vision of HIS life. In fact, they think they can tell you what to do, criticize you for who you are, what you want to be, how you like to dress or how long you have your hair … okay, that’s my own family, but you may have a similar one, no ? haha! Oh great, now we’re back to Tasty Method # 2 …

So here’s the deal. Who cares what they think or say about you? Who the hell cares. (You are now an angry drunk …) You know who you are and you know that your dreams are critical to your own success. Forget the naysayers. I always think it’s funny when someone says how supportive their family was all along; It has been the experience of most people that the family only begins to support you once you have reached the peak of your success, and not a moment before. (Now who’s the cynic?)

The really, really difficult part is when these things involve your kids. It is difficult to deal with it, because they are too young to really understand that the bad words from an old man’s mouth come from their own bitterness, and not from the child. (And ‘young’ can be bad too, so don’t put an age on a possible ‘mean’!) Hard to get that message across. Her only hope, there, is to ‘tell it like it is’ with her son and give them all her love. They may have to learn early that not all people are nice and that not all people are on your side. (Where you are huddled in a small heap, right now … get out. You don’t need to hide anymore. Read the book and you can put it all in perspective. You will love your new sense of Personal Freedom that comes with a quick read and simple).

Oh, and here’s the thing: you can still love someone who’s not nice to you. Often times, it already does. However, I don’t understand the ‘love’ part of an in-laws story, as they are not part of your family, but if you plan to stay married, it is good to come to terms in your own head. where you can survive a Christmas meal (or, God forbid, a whole vacation … in the same house … did I mention you can buy Booze by the Case? Yes. You might want to check that out …) .

One thing I feel very strongly about when it comes to getting along with your spouse’s family: If it is your mother-in-law or father-in-law who is causing you all kinds of pain, it is NOT your problem to solve it, as many wives have heard throughout the years. (Or husbands, depending on the relationship your wife has with her family. However, in my experience, a woman is really good at defending her own family, not so much for herself, but at defending her children and her Husband of intruders.. Often the same cannot be said for some husbands who want to pretend that everything is fine and nothing happens. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. It’s like a little ‘mantra’! haha!)

The only person who can deal head-on with his own parents, or any other part of his own family is the one who is related by blood, or a very, very long connection to said pesky family members … Nothing else will work. . , since you are the imported one. (Sounds like ‘imported wine’, and that brings us back to glorious method # 2 …) If they won’t help you handle the tough situation, try to get yourself to face it, instead, or don’t. . I believe you when you cry all the way home that something terrible happened the moment they left the room, and you were sitting there, desperately trying to mind your own business, when all hell broke loose (Oh man. It happens like this, no I know), then just refuse to get into that situation again. Make it a ‘Forbidden Zone’. If they want you to go, they have to help. If not, yippee! You have the whole day to yourself!

Hey, you know what would be fun and help you get over (or get over) all the nonsense that happens to you on vacation? Let’s add your painful moments to my site! We will laugh, we will cry … we will all pity each other. Then we will all feel better seeing that everyone on the planet has to deal with difficult and crazy people, so we might as well make fun of them, right? Go! It will be fun! Submit your stories, not too graphic please, I’m just kidding about that ‘porn’ thing! Keep an eye out for the language too, although I totally agree that you babble under your breath as you write about your story! That’s normal, anyway, right? Remember to put a subject heading for you to open the email; you might be surprised by some of the crazy people who sometimes write to me … ha ha ha! They are not my friends. I like a person with a touch of madness. They are more fun. They have figured out how to deal with difficult people with humor, which makes us scoff at any difficult situation again. (Oh, and that’s the ‘Good Crazy’, not the ‘Aaah, you’re a Nut – Crazy’)

Actually, I only thought of something … lately, since I read The Four Agreements, when someone says something crazy to me or treats me in a strange way (there is a girl in the gym who seems to hate me, whatever … just I laugh to myself and move on to the next piece of Equipment, where I lift massive amounts of weight to relieve my stress … uh, oh. Well, it’s better than Crack, I mean, so don’t worry. on Lifting ‘should be fine …) … Anyway, I go straight to the thought of what your perception of me is, and how I know that it couldn’t be further from the Truth. I know myself, so I let it all slip away, now. Highly effective. My husband hardly bothers me, now too, which is a miracle in itself! He used to drive me around the curve, but now I look at him with relative indifference and think, “Man, how crazy.” Then I move on. Problem solved. Of course, I also put the house on the market, so maybe the problem is not completely solved, but I am working on it!

Well, good luck with your delicate situation. However, send me a message and tell us all about your terrible day; maybe we can help you. Take the load off a bit. (Did you hear they were serving Bourbon? Me too, gotta go see!)

Happy Holidays, My Pretty’s. Beauties. Ptri-T’s. Ugh, who can spell after all that alcohol?